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Never Walk Without A Document In Your Hand
People with documents in their hand look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they're heading for the canteen. People with newspaper in their hands look like they're heading to the toilet. Above all make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you do.
Use Computer To Look Busy
At any time you use a computer, it looks like work to the 'casual' observer. You can send and received personal e-mails, chat and generally have a blast without doing anything remotely to work. These aren't exactly the societal benefits that the proponents of the computer revolution would like to talk about but they're not bad either. When you get caught by your boss (you will get caught) your best defense is to claim you're teaching yourself to new software, thus saving valuable training expenses.
Messy Desk
Top management can get away with a clean desk. Build huge piles of documents around your workplace. To the observer, last year's work looks the same as today's work. its volume that counts. Pile them high and wide. If you know somebody is coming to your desk, bury the document you'll need halfway halfway down in existing stack and rummage for it when he/she arrives.
Voice Mail
Never answer your phone when you have a voice mail. People don't call you just because they want to give you something for nothing. They call you because they want you to work for them. That's no way to live. Screen all your calls through voice mail.If somebody leaves a voice mail message for you and it sounds like impending work, respond during lunch hour when you know they're not there. It looks like you a hardworking and conscientous even though you're being a devious weasel.
Looking Impatient And Annoyed
Always try to look impatient and annoyed to give your bosses the impression that you're always busy.
Leave The Office Late
always leave your office late especially when the boss is still around. You could read magazine and storybooks that you always wanted to read, but have no time until late before leaving. Make sure you walk past the boss' room on your way out. Send important e-mails at unearthy hours and during public holidays.
Creative Sighing For Effect
Sigh loudly when there are many people around, giving the impression that you are under extreme pressure.
Stacking Strategy
It is not enough to piles lots of documents on your table. Put lots of books on the floor. Thick computer manuals are the best.
Build Vocabulary
Read up on some computer magazines and pick up out all the jargon and new products. Remember: They don't have to understand what you say, but you will sound impressive.
Have 2 Jackets
If you work in a big open plan office, always leave a spare jacket draped over the back of your seat. This gives the impression that you still on the premises. The second jacket should be worn while swanning around elsewhere.
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